..So...!!!!

"So, you are leaving me alone

After holding my hands so long you want me to walk alone.

I m sorry I never learnt so and will never ever do so...."

My heart and mind are at war,
mind keep manipulating things,
heart keep nullifying them,
this war is tearing my heart down,
and I still want my heart to win.

..Last touch..!!

My hands touched her hands last time and my eyes drenched with endless tears.I turned my face away from her and moved away with that touch into the huge crowd at the railway station.I felt so empty as if my soul freezed with her last touch.I wanted to run back steps and hold her tightly,I wanted time to stop there,I wanted to live those moments forever.I wanted scream and scold God for making me stand at this stage of life.But,I failed b'coz I knew nothing can stop this.I have to face anyhow.With blurred vision as heavy step I came back to the place where I left my luggage.I wanted to cry loudly but somehow I had to hold them .I sat on my bedding facing my back from my batchmates who were standing their and let my tears to fall.I was always scared of this day.Once I was scared to step foot on this place and now I am scared to leave this place.How come this strange place become so attached I don't know.Actully it was not this place but the beautiful memories which I treasured here made me attached to this place.My beautiful spicy moments of four years of my graduation.I was afraid to leave my friends who made these moments.Tears kept on rolling ,it was the most difficult moments.I look at my hands that holded the last touch of my friend,Ananya.Bending my head down I started crying endlessly.All past moments started flashing through my eyes.Right from my first step to the last with the blend of all laughter,fights,tears.Suddenly in between these flashes I saw somebody forwarding a hankerchief in front of my face."You can take this I have washed today only".I moved my head and looked with my moist eyes to Omi and this sweet gesture of him brought a tinge of smile admist a peck of tears.It felt like someone kept a warm hand on my sinking heart.I was bit relaxed to see him sitting infront of me with the pristine smile and his smile made me realise that I still had one friend left to walk few steps with me.Whistle of the train distracted my series of thoughts and I got up to carry my luggage.The trains stops there only for five minutes,so everybody started running to catch train.As we had a lot of luggage we all picked up our luggage fastly and threw it at the entrance door of boggie and then entered the door stepping on beddings.As there was so much rush inside so we sat at that entrance door only.It was not that we could not have got space to sit inside but we all were so emotionally drenched that we prefered to be away from crowds and be with our lonliness.As I sat on the bedding train began to move.I felt sudden pang inside my heart.My eyes instantly moved towards the entrance door to see that place last time.But I couldn't ,I saw Omi standing there obstructing my view.He stood there as train slowly started moving away from that place.I could see his back only but could feel the emotional fight he must be going through.I shouted,"Hey,come here".He turned back with his pale face.My heart craved for an unanswered question Why are men not allowed to cry?I said,"You are crying?".He replied in the pale voice,"U didn't let me cry" and I realised it's not only me who is facing this separation.So,the journey of four years ended here.Four year of a life out of home,of making best pals,of scoring less scores,of ultimate pleasure.It took four years to make friends and just a second to loose them.It's not that they will never be my friends anymore but they will never be so close anymore.As the train started accelerating my every single moment started moving backward and my path started turning to the future which was unpredictable.The future which is still to be lived.How far I will carry ahead this tinge of separation I don't know but I know one thing whenever I will turn back to this day,a drop of tear will fall from my eyes.

P.s. Last day of my college,those tears are still wet,which do sometimes fall from my eyes when I look back at my beautiful journey.I miss you all n I love you all...

..As I Stood by his side..

Holding my breath so long
As I stood by his side
Separation walked out of the door,
Miles narrowed to a step.
Tears hide in the corners,
Smile flaunted in the centre.
Heart skipped so fast,
Time freeze to stop.
Hands shivered to walk,
Eyes muttered to talk.
Words started to fall,
Life danced to roll..!!!

Part I

"How are you all today,must be hungry?",he said and slowly sitting down on a wooden bench,putting his stick towards his right leg,he took out few small pieces of bread from a folded newspaper and flew them from his hand towards them and they just jumped down fighting with each other just to eat as much as they can."Com'on don't fight and eat properly", and they stopped fighting and started eating properly."That's good",he said smiling.He sat there till no bread crump was left in newspaper.He sat there watching from his spectacles, in between adjusting it to see properly with his weak hands,so that he can properly see them.Time has turned him old enough to have wrinkles on his face and his skin from face just hangs down.His eyes could barely see as its get darker,his knees joint cried as he moved his feet's.But now from years it seems that this pain has become so much part of his life that ,he can't imagine how will he feel without it.Old Age has bend his back down,and taken away all his support.But still some how in this lonely world he has find some friends,who would not reply to his words as human can but can feel his love for them because love does not have any languages.As sun slowly came down and get cooler,he would come here to fill the emptiness which has captured his heart from years and to share few moments of peace with these little birds.He knew these little birds were far better than human beings,at least they wont hurt anybody like human do.Sun has already started to hide behind the mountains and slowly and slowly dark was engulfing the rays of lights from sky.So, he holded his stick and pushed his body away from bench with lot of effort and standing with the support of his stick,he smiled with pain of separation and said "good bye" to those little birds who after having there meal with his friend where ready to have a sound sleep on there cosy bed.After his "good bye" they get a signal and flied away with their delicate wings to the tree nearby and disappeared behind the thick leaves.He move ahead with small steps leaving behind his only peaceful corner.Behind his back sun closed his eyes slowly to relax behind the mountains and ended the journey of this day.As day ends so began hopes and dreams of tomorrow.But here also he was the poorest one,as he didn't had any hopes or any dreams left for tomorrow.His life was aimless at the verge and how long he will feed these bird with his hands,that only he know who has created this entire world.

Some Words...

Sometime mere words hurt so much that it often take years to remove those scars.But have you ever thought why it take year to remove those scar,because we often scratch those scar time to time and never try to heal them and suffer from endless pain.