..ray of hope..

After a long dark night

tiny ray of hope
peep into the crack of my life
altering my tear into pearl
my fear into courage
stirring my soul
upside down
making me stand
from the wreck of failure
till I gave pain a last glance
and moved ahead smiling
never to look back again

..end..

I ripped my heart out

and let it bleed

till the last drop

of your love

could sweep out

yet frail heart

pumped your love

without single

drop of blood

so much love

swooned the soul

poisoned me whole

yet sinking breath

hugged you close and
world witness my death
right at your doorstep
strangling in your
unfinished eternal love

She

when she get through pain
you were born,she was your mother
when you went to school
she worked chores,she was your sister
when you worked in office
she build your home,she was your wife
when you grew old
she supported you,she was your daughter
when your life was lonely
she hugged you,she was your girlfriend
when day was busy like hell
she lend you coffee,she was your friend
when your spirits and morals are abysmally low
she was the force to make you grow
lean she may be in the appearance
deep within she is strong and bold
amidst the whirlwind of life
she will always stand by your side
with a dash of love and care
she will bless you entire world
driving you to grow every hour
under a bliss of dazzling sunshine

..Love is forever..

"Just leave my hand, Aadi ”, she was all drenched in rain. Standing under the cloudy dark sky, rain pouring them down, unable to wash those tacit emotions in her eyes.” What’s that you are hiding”, he tightly hugged her into his arms gazing into her eyes, trying to read that rare gesture in her eyes. Her puffed eyes were full of those feelings then tears. The more she tried to hide more prominent these became. Few seconds after understanding those feelings, his heart felt heavy, his trembling voice inquired,” Is it true”. Now she knew there's no reason left to hide it anymore and why did even she tried to do so. She always knew that it won't take him long to know what’s troubling her lot. She freed herself from his arms and turned her back moving away from him.” Where are going, Tiya?” .Her heart ached with never ending pain and eyes shed tears that mingled with drops of rain, without turning back to him as it was difficult to face him now, she said,” Away from you.." .Her breath stopped for a second and then uttered the last words that choked in her throat "..forever..”.

His eyes widened in shock and his heart stopped beating. He stepped towards her just standing face to face, looking straight into those eyes,"..Why..".This was the question she was scared of. But somehow she knew within, that whatever be the fear she has to do this, she has to face it, though it may be killing her inside. She closed her eyes and with all effort blasted out that fear to him, "Because my feelings for you have changed and it getting difficult day by day to fake in front of you like a friend. I don't want to hurt you.” Her eyes were red with pain, her soul was shivering. They both stood there getting drained in rain, drops of rain penetrating through their soul. Rain was draining, lightening was screaming madly. Nature stood there like an audience, catching a glimpse of emotional catastrophe which was drowning them forever. For minutes they stood there staring into each other’s eyes and they re-lived their life within those minutes right from the moment they met till here. Each and every moment, every single thought they shared echoed from the past. These echoes were so loud that even lightning failed to distract them. She stepped her feet towards him. He turned his head towards her ears and said,” Will you be able to live without me”.

It was yet another pang to her heart.Her breath again refused to beat for a second with the thought of being without a person who was part of her heart and how will she be able to live by killing that part of her heart.It was impossible even to think of it and how difficult would it be to live,she don't know and that's what her heart murmured to him,"..I don't know..".

She moved away with heavy steps ahead. But he held her hands tightly and pulled her towards himself.” You can’t do this to me .I haven’t given you right to do this yet.” He tightened his grip on her hands and she felt the instant pain.But the pain in her heart was far more pinching . His eyes were both red with anger and tears, his breath seems to be irregular. He pulled her more closely towards himself. They were close enough to listen each other’s heart beats that was accelerating every second. His voice was more painful,” You can’t do this. How will I live without you? You can’t alone decide the fate of our relationship. You can’t do this…”.Suddenly his voice was weak, all his anger was overcome by the pain in his heart. He loosened his grip on her hands and bogged down on her feet. His eyes were soaked in tears. His heart ached so much to make him physically weak. Bending his head on his knees he sat there begging her not to leave.

.....to be continued....

..drop of tear..

A drop of tear
melted down in your arms
when your hands caressed me
and took me closer to your heart
your heart beats embraced my ear
soothing my pain forever
your touch broke me up
into burst of joy
and when your fingers
moved through the gaps of my fingers
my life felt complete
nothing ever existed for me then
in your arms I lost myself
no world no desire no hope
just blissful heaven

..tu hai kahin..

tu hai kahin
in baadlon main chuppa
in bundon se tu
hai mujkho chu rahan
main door hu bahut
tujhse to kya
tu paas bahut hai
mere har lamha
har saans main
ehsaas hai tera
milo se nahi
hoti dooriyan
waqt rukh mordega
ek roj kabhi
yeh faasley bhi
simmat jayenge kabhi
yeh boondein phir
aise hi barsegi
yeh hawayen phir
aise hi jhoomegi

..Rain..

let this rain drench

my soul forever

washing away my

anger, pain, fear, tears

far away forever

like a drop of water

on a barren land

let it end my

thirst forever

may I be lost

under this

dark cloudy sky

forgetting all

ties of responsibilities

let these drops of water

free me and

let this moment

be paused forever

I am with you Daddy..

“Just leave me alone dad”,she shouted insanely.

His soul teared apart.He stepped forward, sat beside her.

She was crying endlessly,her tears hitting the photograph in her hand.

He touched her shoulder,she blasted out her entangled painful emotion with the touch,

hugged him tightly and cried “Why dad….Why he broke my heart...?”

He took out his wallet, looked at the faded photograph.

She turned her moist eyes,”Mom”.

”You know she also broke my heart”

“How”

“When you were two year old .She died, left me alone. And I was all broken”

“You hold my hand within your little fingers, smiled and said in your broken words,"I am with you Daddy”

A tear rolled out of her dad eye.She forgets her pain. Photograph in her hand fall on the floor.

She moved her hand forward to hold his tear.He stopped her, took her soft hand in his hands, and said “From that day you have nurtured my broken heart and now it’s my turn.......",smiled with his teary eyes,"....I am with you honey.!!".

P.s. Something I wrote long back

I still remember days you have forgotten

I still remember days you have forgotten

rendezvous in the corner of old coffee house
longs hours waiting on the last bus stop
silly fights under the shade of gulmohar
senseless dancing on the street in the rain

I still remember days you have forgotten

crumpled letters stuffed in pocket of jeans
dried lilies pressed in the pages of novel
faded photograph in the frame of wallet
endless chats on the terrace in midnight

I still remember days you have forgotten

morning train parting us several cities away
unanswered phone calls growing day by day
tears on the crisscross lines of the palm
yearning back for winters of November

I still remember days you have forgotten

P.s. This was my first guest post on May 26th on 'Poetic cries of interpersonal expression' by Pulkit Tiwari.Do follow him because he is just an amazing writer.

..little girl and moon..

"No dada please don't open that window",shouted his five year old daughter

"Why darling..it is suffocating here inside your room"

"No dada you don't know that round thing in the sky peeps into my room every night"

"What...oh ho that's moon darling"

"Whatever it is...he scares me every night with his different shapes"

"Nobody is scared of him..he come here every night just to take care of my sweet child"

"No..he scares me...how can he care about me"

"Don't get mad ..OK as you wish",he closed the window and left her room

Next night when she was closing her window,she saw he was not there in the sky.She wondered what happened to him.When for next two days he didn't came there.

She got curious so she went to her dada room to ask about moon and her dada told,"You have hurt him darling,he used to take care of you and you have misunderstood his love and care.. that's why he is upset with you".

Her innocent little heart felt bad.She ran to her room near the window, looked at the dark sky, closing her eyes she murmured ,"I am sorry..I have hurt you..Please come back.." and soon clouds hiding him parted away letting moonlight to fall on her.As she opened her eyes he smiled within her twinkling little eyes forever.

dream

Every night you come
to sleep by my side
watch me dripping
into the dream world
smile encircle your eyes
when I smile
you hold me close
when nightmare shakes me
you play with my hairs
you cuddle my skin
listen to my rhythmic heart
when first ray of light
twitter outside my window
I wake up
with you missing
your fragrance is everywhere
but you are not there
and then my dream end
dashing me back
into this real world
where you are far...far away

..on the sand of past..

on the sand of past

scratches of pain scream
aloud of days gone
when tears drowned my heart
into deep ocean
scars bleed your love still
when nights are alone
on the lonely path
often I walk with your love inside
I wonder around on that cliff
where you left me alone
finding answers to questions
you never gave

..surrender..

You never agree on my words.We always have long hours of fights and in the end it me who always have to surrender.

Words over words
you bundle them up
on my mind
one after other
rights or wrong
you want just
yourself to win
I am all abashed
when hours passes
you still never stops
not to surrender
is always I try
but what you do
always in the end
with sparkling eyes
often hit me hard
mesmerizing me
to surrender
right at the moment
you may think
as if I am a loser
but just for this
spark in your eyes
I want to be a loser
for every fight

Smile with sadness

There is always sadness hidden within his smile,which his eyes often fail to hide.I can always see that sadness sitting in the corner of his eyes.Every time I see him smiling I feel like pushing that sadness out of his eyes.But inspite of so many efforts I still fail to do so.Whenever I reach so close to those eyes something very strong force me back and I am all left with traces of his smile amalgamated with his silence sadness.Hope someday I will conquer over his sadness.

behind those fearless eyes
pain still speaks aloud
ripping me apart
away far away
I still wait
for
that smile
falling in drops on
my sweet troubled soul
pacifying my quench of peace
that often I search in your eyes

Don't leave me alone

"You look beautiful",tears rolled out of his eyes when she walked towards him in vermilion attire.With her henna decorated hands she held his falling tear in her palm.She stared him for a second and turned back to the aisle,and he just whispered,"Don't leave me alone".

..I am no more myself again..

..I am no more myself again..

you came scribbling your unsaid words
blooming every corner of my heart
left me within, your blissful paradise
hooked me into your tingling ripple
over-ruling my mind,body and soul
mesmerizing my thoughts,dazzling my eyes

..I am no more myself again..

past is forgotten,future worries no more
Strings of worldly ties lie broken apart
like a shadow of hope you walk beside me
breathing your fragrance,cuddling your soul
mirror reflect no more,fear scares no more
just remains your love your warmth your care

..I am no more myself again..

day begins,night ends,moon peeps,stars shine
everything fades behind your charming glory
snuggling within you my pain surrenders
seeping within my soul you steal me forever
with your endless love within, my heart just wishes
to sleep forever in cradle of your arms

..I am no more myself again..

I am renting my heart again...

I am renting my heart again
somebody reside without complain

scars of past are carved beneath
pangs of grief is under wreath
smile has withered away in the corner
life is still sad like a mourner

I am renting my heart again
somebody reside without complain

darkness is awake inside my room
future seems like a bloody doom
hope is dead within these rifts
deep inside me fury drifts

I am renting my heart again
somebody reside without complain

wake me up from this endless sleep
hold me back from this great steep
accept me as I am torn and broke
mend my wounds with caressing stroke

I am renting my heart again
somebody reside without complain

seal me inside your soul forever
shield me so that I am not hurt ever
knock on my heart as breeze of dove
just pay rent of unconditional love

I am renting my heart again
somebody reside without complain